It’s hard to be a bad man in real life when you use heel professional wrestling tactics. Dirty deeds cheapen the rep. Watch for yourself…

See? You cannot abide these tactics.

UPDATE: Brandon Spikes is suspended for a half of football. Versus Vanderbilt. He sure learned his lesson.

LSU vs Georgia, Prediction Pick, 2009
By McD Rumors and Rants

Is No. 4 LSU the worst top ten team at the moment? It certainly seems that they’re the most vulnerable. The Tigers haven’t played a complete offensive and defensive game yet in 2009. They’ve had spots, but every one of their flaws has come to light, then kept showing up repeatedly.

The facts are these: LSU is a pretty good defensive team. Not great, not overly-talented, but pretty good. The offense? That’s another issue. They have every tool an offense would hypothetically need. Dual-threat quarterback? Check. Athletic, speedy wide receivers? Check. A stable of amazing runners? Check. An offensive line full of studs? Check. And yet they haven’t blown out any of the mediocre-to-bad teams on their schedule so far: Washington, Vanderbilt, Louisiana-Lafayette, and Mississippi State. Three of those four games were in doubt in the second half, even.

So what gives?

Against No. 14 Georgia, the offense needs to find a way to stay on the field and be efficient. LSU knows how to access its playmakers, but it’s clear the offensive coaches don’t trust quarterback Jordan Jefferson to carry them with all the safe, short passes he throws. That’s why his statistics look decent and he hasn’t thrown many interceptions. The problem is, the passing game isn’t exactly scary either.

That means LSU’s running game ought to be the focus of the playcalling, but it isn’t. It is unforgivable that a team with Keiland Williams and Charles Scott would fail to get them 40-45 combined carries, especially in games the team is winning. The Tigers have been getting that dynamic duo about 20-28 combined carries per game. Speedster Trindon Holliday only has seven total offensive touches in four games!

Against Mississippi State, LSU only ran for 30 yards (!) on 31 attempts. The Tigers never trailed after the first quarter, but they averaged 1 yard per carry for the game, and did not have a running back with double-digit carries. That’s on head coach Les Miles and offensive coordinator Gary Crowton. I have strong feelings about Les Miles, but someone needs to buy FireGaryCrowton.com and fast.

Georgia’s offense is going to tear LSU up if the Tigers are sloppy and inefficient again on offensive side of the ball – like they were against Mississippi State. LSU’s secondary already has an unfavorable (to say the very least) matchup with AJ Green, and if that unit is on the field for an extended amount of time because Crowton just hates running the ball, it’s curtains for LSU.

I don’t think too highly of Georgia’s offense or defense. The Bulldogs’ defense is soft and can be beaten like a drum (119 points allowed in four games) while their offense is overly conservative and doesn’t have any playmakers other than Green. Georgia would be outscored by their opponents on the season if not for the shoot out against Arkansas’ horrible defense. At it’s core, Georgia is a very mediocre team. LSU is going to rush/blitz the hell out of quarterback Joe Cox and try to add to the five interceptions he’s already thrown in four games. The Bulldogs’ overall blah-ness the only reason I’m not 100% sure Georgia is going to win on Saturday. Plus Mark Richt is their head coach. Enough said.

Georgia is favored by 2.5 right now, and I really, really hate picking the Bulldogs. They’re really unpredictable, conservative, and not what you’d call “clutch.” But I have to go with track records for 2009 so far, and that tells me LSU isn’t going to do enough to win. They just haven’t been consistent. My head tells me it’s so obvious they should use their huge offensive line and pound Scott and Williams down Georgia’s throat, but they haven’t done that yet, even when beating lesser teams. At least Georgia has an identity. I just don’t think LSU will score enough points. I’m sad to say it, but take Georgia by a figgie even though LSU really is the vastly superior team.

Georgia vs. South Carolina, Prediction Preview 2009
By: Flounder at leftoverhotdog.blogspot.com

The undefeated gamecocks will travel to Athens, Ga to take on an unhappy bunch of bulldogs in a SEC opener for both teams. Georgia is coming off a tough loss to Oklahoma State that sent the bulldogs from 13th in the AP poll to 21st. South Carolina squeaked out a 7-3 win in Raleigh. But with this game, records don’t matter as this game is always close and seems to shed light on which team will have a better season.

It’s been 13 years since Georgia started the season with a losing record and this is the first time since Mark Richt took over that UGa had a losing record for the season, at any point during the season. So trust me when I say…Georgia will be fired up against the Gamecocks! USC will try to open a season with back-to-back road wins for the first time.

Last season, Gamecocks quarterback Chris Smelley threw an interception inside the Georgia 10 with 13 seconds left in a 14-7 South Carolina loss. Georgia’s 18-0 win in 2006 is the only shutout of Spurrier since he arrived at South Carolina (the only other came at Duke in 1987). The 2007 Gamecocks are the only squad to keep a Richt-coached Bulldogs team out of the end zone.

In the past three games between the teams, the Gamecocks and Bulldogs each have just two touchdowns. Spurrier has gone 1-3 against Georgia as the gamecocks coach, his team scoring less than 10 points a game and tallying just three offensive touchdowns in four contests. Neither team has scored more than 20 points in the last six meetings between the schools. And don’t expect anything different Saturday. Both coaches are trying to jump start offenses that struggled during the opener without changing things too radically.

The offenses for No. 21 Georgia and South Carolina struggled in their openers, combining for 17 points. The Gamecocks (1-0) gained just 256 yards in a 7-3 win over North Carolina State, while the Bulldogs (0-1) had just one more yard in a 24-10 loss to fifth-ranked Oklahoma State.

Let’s look at this series, which began in 1894, since 2000:

2008/09/13 South Carolina 7 – Georgia 14
2007/09/08 South Carolina 16 – Georgia 12
2006/09/09 South Carolina 0 – Georgia 18
2005/09/10 South Carolina 15 – Georgia 17
2004/09/11 South Carolina 16 – Georgia 20
2003/09/13 South Carolina 7 – Georgia 31
2002/09/14 South Carolina 7 – Georgia 13
2001/09/08 South Carolina 14 – Georgia 9
2000/09/09 South Carolina 21 – Georgia 10

South Carolina has won 3 times since 2000. South Carolina is (14-45-2) against Georgia all-time. But most important from the above is the fact that you can see (minus 2003 with the 31-7 beat down) this game is always a close contest since 2000.

I feel that 2009 will be no different. Expect a close game.

What to watch for….success in this game will be determined by which team has success throwing the ball. Whichever team can air it out and spread the field and allow a balanced attack to transpire, thus leading to ball control and smart play. So look for Spurrier to test the passing game early. Richt will tell his boys much the same as both teams had poor offensive showings in game 1. Look for them to go a little deeper in the playbook in week 2.

For Georgia to win…Four main things must go right for them to win: Joe Cox has to be great at moving the ball through the air against a stout USC ‘D’, the offensive line for UGa must stop a very good defensive front from SC, AJ Green must be a star for the ‘dawgs at receiver and the Georgia D must limit Garcia through the air.

For Carolina to win…Garcia must have success in the air and deep, the SC offensive line must control the line of scrimmage, USC special teams must execute and the USC Defense must be lights out.

What will decide the winner…Two things –

1. Field position – which team controls that aspect and limits the threat then it will lead to a victory.

2. The team that does not “shoot themselves in the foot” and wins the TO game then it leads to a win.

This game may not have the most potent offenses coming in but these two teams have 2 of the best defenses in the SEC and if not the nation. This game will come down to who can move the ball effectively, field position, who wins the TO battle, special teams play and who does not mess up. Sounds like a good game is in store…

This game in my view is the Gamecocks to lose. I feel Spurrier wants this game badly as it would swirl some “winds” in Athens concerning Richt and his decisions. Spurrier loves to be the catalyst for things like that and what better way to do it then to kick them when they are down. Don’t get me wrong as this game will be low scoring but look for the Gamecocks to win by the score of 20-10 due to some timely Georgia turnovers.

-What do you think will happen? Leave a comment below, and tell us what you think. Subscribe, and come back all season-

Joe Cox has a summer cold.

If few teams have had as strong of an injury bug as Oklahoma State, these flu-like symptoms that Joe Cox is suffering from could prove to be quite the problem. They only have freshmen as back-up quarterbacks. And I mean, Summer Colds man? Those things are awful. You suffer through one and it’s all…

You know what? I’ll let someone else handle this.

Premise: The SEC as Old School Tag Teams

Let’s face it, I’m like the Fox Reality Television Department. I see a good idea, and I tweak it for my purposes. So, I saw Black Heart Gold Pants did a post comparing College Football Teams to pro wrestlers? I say two is better than one, I say the late 80′s are better than now, and I say that I remember the Conquistadors, and I care.

Mississippi State is…The Conquistadors

There’s a term in wrestling called Jobber to the Stars. You have a guy or a team with some name recognition. And they get to beat some random dudes. (Jackson State, Middle Tennessee State) But if they face somebody with any sort of expectation? They’re basically a guarantee game. Thus, they are the Conquistadors.

Auburn is…The Colossal Connection

Because Auburn is a school with traditionally outsized expectations. Bobby Lowder is a man who wanted this team to be as good as the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. The problem with that? Chris Todd’s arm is as strong as a post Princess Bride Andre was agile. The defense hits hard and I know that Antonio Coleman’s going to poke the eye out of Jimmy Jack Funk if he crosses him.

Arkansas is…the Rockers

This is mainly due to their post team career. The offense is something that is destined for bigger and better things. A lot of talent on that side of the ball. The defense? They’re the one destined for a long string of drug arrests and 18 person audiences. Ryan Mallet’s got a superkick that would take your head clean off.

Ole Miss is…The Fabulous Freebirds

They’re the team that’s built on swagger and style. You have a gunslinging quarterback in Jevan Snead. You have two playmakers in Dexter McCluster and Shay Hodge. You have a defense that will hit you as if you have been blindsided by a foreign object. I know Oxford doesn’t seem to have much bad on their streets, but there is a chance for the most genteel championship riot of all time.

Alabama is…Money Inc.

Everybody has a price. Everybody’s gonna pay. And you know that the Million Dollar Saban? He always gets his way.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Well.

LSU is…The Four Horsemen

They aren’t exactly the most charismatic team that you build a narrative over. Not to say that Les Miles doesn’t work well from the meme that he is the Ric Flair of the SEC. (If Ric Flair wore hats.) But the team is at its best when the offense is technically proficient and the defense will beat you down in the parking lot. Last year? This was the iteration where you had to deal with Paul Romo or Steve McMichael.

Vanderbilt is…The Fabulous Rougeaus

The offense is filled with ennui. Self-loathing. People who smoke clove cigarettes. Add to that a love of independent film and DeGrassi. The defense is filled with technical proficency and hard hitting. They are as well coached as a team managed by the Mouth of the South. But this is a team that reeks of Quebecois.

Kentucky is…The Public Enemy

Few teams get so much out of so little like Rich Brooks and the Wildcats. They’re trying for their fourth straight bowl win off of little more than Randall Cobb, Trevard Lindley, and a frying pan. You don’t know how they’re going to do this. But if you take them lightly? They will put you through a table.

South Carolina is…The Hart Foundation

If the Hart Foundation was in some sort of an Ultamaceian time paradox. The offense is Bret Hart. The bitter, concussed, stroked out Bret Hart. The defense? Ellis Johnson has a team that is ready willing and able to punch you in the mouth, stroke their awesome goat, and cackle about it. Just ask Russell Wilson. But the best there was isn’t exactly going to hold up their end of the deal.

Tennessee is…Demolition

Now, you look at the way the Road Warriors had galvanized mid-80′s tag-team wrestling and the WWE asked why not us? So they have the Dave Clausen like success of the outfit known as the Powers of Pain. But you dress up this new era? You get the power and the paint of top prospect Bryce Brown and the outlaw tomfoolery of one Lane Kiffin. In some form or fashion, these kids will be Walking Disasters.  

Georgia is…The Twin Towers

As this is the greatest official rivalry in the SEC, you need to have the great foil to the super duo. And as Florida is the Mania and the Madness? Georgia has to be the Law and Order and the Jive Soul Bro. They are a talented team, and if you are anybody else besides a championship contender and or Florida? They will break your face off.

Florida is…The Megapowers

You have Hulk Hogan (Tim Tebow) and Randy “Macho Man” Savage (Brandon Spikes) both in their primes. You have Urban Meyer as a savvier Miss Elizabeth. You have a team that’s bound to win every game that they play. The only thing that I can see that ends them is if Brandon Spikes accuses Tim Tebow of jealous eyes.

So while you wonder if anyone can take the Megapowers down? I’ll do something else. I already know, dear reader.

I already know.

Sympathy for the King

Here’s a little more background on me. I am someone who would call themselves a sports futurist. I love prospects. I love drafts. I love what’s next a little more than who’s now. But that being said?

Circumstances aren’t exactly in the hands of a football recruit if they want to avoid the wags of the world to call them a bust. You have coaches that will recruit a position two or three or five deep. and the three or four star guy comes quickly and correct. You have athletic departments that will switch systems up if necessary. You have players who just get unlucky with injuries. So much is out of your hands as a recruit.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that in football, there is no such thing as a five-star prospect. You may be thrilled that you have the five star local boy that you stole from your in-state rival, but you know what? You have that kid out of New Jersey. And he’s simply electrifying.

And then you pull your hamstring. And this new kid is awesome. So you’re here. And you’ve got nothing to show for your time. And everybody’s calling you a bust for it. I say no. I say that unless a man loses his job for actafoolery. There is no reason to feel disappointed that a prospect does not pan out. This process is so scrutinized, the only way failure comes is by a lack of coaching or general shenanigans.

Don’t blame Caleb King for not emerging. He was never supposed to be.

And if you need him, he can still do this.

SEC Football Fan Twins, Video Reprise Spoiler Alert … I don’t have a twin! This is a little video I made last year, and it still rings true. It is still funny to me. Despite my editing prowess, please believe me that I do not have a twin.

This is the “Auburn and Georgia, SEC Football Fan Twins“. I have not made a part 2, because I do not have the time, but if good material pops up this year, I might be forced to.

SEC Football Preseason Predictions, 2009. Here they are short and sweet. I know that my predictions will not only raise eyebrows, but they will also bring my sanity into question. I can only say that I think the SEC West is the deepest we have ever seen. Parody will be the SEC West’s surname. With 2 weeks to go in the season there will be several teams with shots at going to the Atlanta for the championship. The SEC East will be sewn up fairly quickly by the impenetrable Florida Gators. Georgia will make a lot of heads turn picking up the trash.

Auburn and Tennessee will both bring some normalcy to the picture by running the ball and keeping their defense fresh so they can do what they know how to do. The coaches have changed but the top level talent is still there. The coaches and assistants will bring new life.  Alabama, Arkansas, and Ole Miss will all come back to Earth a little. Well, Alabama a lot. Alabama lost their best passing QB of all time ( by the #’s ), and they lost their top 1 or 2 ranked offensive lineman throughout their storied program’s history. Last year was the perfect storm for them, and they still lost their last 2 games.

Please do not be too offended, if your team is not where you expect it. This is the best conference in the nation, and it is the deepest I have ever seen it. #5 through #11 could lose to each other any given Saturday. #5 through #11 would be the pride of any other conference. That’s just how the SEC roles.

1. Florida: 12-1, 1st in SEC East with a 7-1 SEC record = SEC Champions
2. Georgia: 11-2, 2nd in SEC East with a 6-2 SEC record
3. Alabama: 9-4, Tied 1st in SEC West with a 5-3 SEC record
4. LSU: 9-4, Tied 1st in SEC West with a 5-3 SEC record
5. South Carolina: 9-4, 3rd in SEC East with a 5-3 SEC record
6. Auburn: 9-4, Tied 3rd in SEC West with a 4-4 SEC record
7. Ole Miss: 8-5, Tied 3rd in SEC West with a 4-4 SEC record
8. Tennessee: 7-6, Tied 4th in SEC East with a 3-5 SEC record
9. Vanderbilt: 6-6, Tied 4th in SEC East with a 3-5 SEC record
10. Arkansas: 5-7, 5th in SEC West with a 3-5 SEC record
11. Kentucky: 5-7, 6th in SEC East with a 2-6 SEC record
12. Mississippi State: 3-9 , 6th in SEC West with a 0-8 SEC record

That’s just how the SEC roles.