I present to you “FrankenKiper”. Mel Kiper is going Scary ( Pic )

Seriously, is his head getting bigger. How big is his head going to get before we all hold hands across America? I understand that his hairs is his thing. That is a hot mess of a ton of hair, but why does he have it all 1.5 inches away from his skull? Is he pulling an Agassi? Is this a wig, or maybe a helmet?

Half-Dozen Hyper-specific Predictions about…Kentucky

I’m back with the half-dozen thoughts in an attempt to roll out a preview upon you, the SEC Football Blogger reader. Today, the deepest of sleepers in the SEC. That’s right. I’m bringing you 6 calls on Kentucky.

None of them involving John Calipari buying a recruit from Seattle.

Last Year: 7-6 (3-5) t4th in the SEC East

1) There will be a brief interest in Randall Cobb as a Heisman trophy candidate in September after he gets off onto a ridiculous start. But while it will fade, he will end the year being a part of 20 Kentucky touchdowns. And they will come in all four possible ways.

2) Mike Hartline will get off to a good start again, but the highlight win of the season will come with Morgan Newton under center. The exact details of that call come later.

3) Youth will be served as true freshman running back Brandon Gainer will find himself managing to average 4.8 yards per game in at least 80 carries, and redshirt freshman outside linebacker Qua Huzzie gets himself 93 tackles.

4) Paul Warford’s had a bit of a misadventure during his time in Kentucky to say the least. But while the Junior season Trevard Lindley didn’t show up this year, Paul Warford will have double digit breakups and 5 picks.

With Paul Warford’s dismissal, Kentucky will finish in the bottom half of the SEC in terms of pass defense. And since I’m being hyper-specific? I’ll say 8th.

5) But that won’t stop Kentucky from having a bad October. The streak of losses will continue against Steve Spurrier. In fact? They’re going to go 1-4. But that being said? They will beat Georgia as their highlight win.

6) That is, unless you consider beating a likely down Tennessee team as the highlight.

I’m not exactly bearish on Kentucky, but at least in terms of record? I’m going to try and get it as right as humanly possible. If you’re paying attention, there may be an SEC East theme that develops. That being said?

2010 looks similar to 2009.

This year: 7-5, 3-5 in conference, tied for 3rd in the SEC East

Write for SEC Football Blogger

Why? Because you are clearly awesome. You appreciate the works of Dameyune Craig. You know for a fact that the Volunteers got exactly what they deserved when they decided to hire Lane Kiffin. You can find the great videos like the Nick Saban impression. You know exactly who James Wilder Jr. is and just why exactly he mattered to the Gators when he spurned them for the Seminoles.

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We’ll be more than happy to have you.

Cheating makes Jonathan Crompton feel sad.

Is the probation pendulum swinging back the other way?

We all know about what happened to USC. We all found it hilarious. It’s the first major poll and bowl ban since Alabama early in the previous decade. And it as such, the anomalous nature of the punishment made it all the more awesome.

But in the past couple of weeks? A few more schools have been popping up on the radar. North Carolina’s professional level defensive anchor Marvin Austin was the most major player interviewed by NCAA investigators. And reports on that are that we could be looking at a major investigation for the Tar Heels.

And on Sunday? Reports came out that South Carolina Tight End, Marvin Austin friend, and key Stephen Garcia target Weslye Saunders is the subject of another investigation, and may have cost himself his senior season because of it. Spurrier says that this may be Saunders acting a fool, and I’m inclined to believe him.

But Dr. Saturday linked to a College Football Talk post that talked about the investigations of UNC and Saunders as a part of a larger investigation.

• According to a source, there’s the possibility that the names of at least two more prominent Div. 1-A schools could be made public over the next few days/weeks in relation to an NCAA investigation that has the potential to reach much, much further than its limited public scope right now.

It was a conspiracy theory as of yesterday, at least until the reports came out that former Florida Center Maurkice Pouncey received a 100k bonus from an Agent and was ineligible for the Sugar Bowl. And whereas the purported student-athletes of North Carolina and South Carolina may be the only victims of the net that the NCAA is casting, the Gators seemed to have turned a blind eye to it.

That’s what earned USC it’s punishment. And Florida’s one of those programs that has had the benefit of Tim Tebow being the face of the program the past four years. A good public face covers up a lot of private sins.

And there could very well be other SEC programs that will fall in this trap before this is over. Or not. But if Nick Saban takes a pro job, Bama fan?

I would worry about some other shoe dropping tootsweet.

UPDATE: And by 4 PM central daylight time? Suddenly Alabama Defensive End and 2009 National Championship clincher Marcel Dareus has been caught in this net.

TUSCALOOSA, Ala. — University of Alabama officials are investigating whether junior defensive lineman Marcel Dareus broke NCAA rules by attending an agent’s party in Miami’s South Beach earlier this summer, multiple sources told ESPN.com.

Dareus, ranked as the No. 7 prospect for the 2011 NFL draft by ESPN analyst Mel Kiper, is the latest prominent college football player to be entangled in an evolving NCAA investigation into illegal contact and conduct by sports agents.

Now this is like Saunders and Austin’s case. The event happened in May at the Fountinbleu in Miami. So the National Championship is safe. But in terms of the defense? The defense may be without one of their few experienced players for a while.

Yes, this may just be a whole lot of hullabaloo. But I tell you what? If you’re a fan with a team that has a marketable prospect. I would be worried.

Looking at you @summerofmallett, looking at you.

In Defense of the SEC Scheduling

The NCAA came out with its official listing of FBS versus FCS games. And as per usual? The SEC comes strong with the gimmes. The ACC has one more, but the fact of the matter is that when you have 12 games that are gimmes? Your nonconference record and reputation can be slightly inflated.

And as a football fan? It’s definitely a terrible thing. Beyond a shadow of a doubt there’s no real entertainment value for a game that’s likely to be 38-3 at the half. But that being said? The SEC does it a little differently.

There are 11 games of this ilk that are set to go off past September. The SEC has seven of these games. One is interesting in a sort of dynasty versus dynasty. (Appalachian State at Florida). One is interesting in a will Nick Saban put up 100 sort of way? (Georgia State at Alabama.) All are guaranteed wins.

But they are guaranteed wins that allow the teams breathing room. Georgia State comes before the Iron Bowl. Appy State comes before a seemingly sprightly Florida State. Mississippi State travels to Non-AQ superpower Houston right after they play Alcorn State. LSU gets McNeese State before Auburn.

In fact? Georgia and Auburn are both taking the gimmie before they play each other on November 13th.

I know, I know, cool story bro. I get it.

But you know what this is? This is a trend. You’ll see more teams jerryrig a schedule to get a tuneup before the big game. You won’t see a conference like the ACC schedule 12 September games with local FBS powers anymore.

It’s the wave of the future, and the SEC is out in front of it.

Georgia Cornerback Arrested; Didn’t Give Middle Name

On Monday, Georgia Cornerback Jordan Love was arrested for misdemeanor obstruction in the investigation of reported fireworks being shot off in the Georgia Campus. Now, you could chalk this up to the tomfoolery of a post 4th of July hangover. But then you read on…

“Mr. Love gave his first and last name, but he said he didn’t know his middle name, then said he kind of knew it, but didn’t know how to spell it,” [University of Georgia Police Chief Jimmy] Williamson said.

And you know what, if there was a second Jordan Love on campus? Perhaps the University would have a case. But a simple google search? And you can see that there is only one Jordan Love on campus. The middle name wasn’t and isn’t necessary in this instance.

Now, granted. The police department is walking back this dumb mistake. And perhaps this is a case where there is nothing seedy beyond an officer who let previous experience dictate his decision-making. But the fact remains.

A little bit of patience and research and none of this would have happened.

Terrence Splash!

Tennessee signs Punter.

Special teams are easily mocked. After all, if they were a seemingly legitimate part of football, why would you call them special? But there is a good benefit to winning the field position battle. And when you have a quarterback that makes Chris Simms look like Phil as your starting quarterback? Maybe managing have yourself a merry little punter is a good thing.

And that’s the big news out of Knoxville. Matt Darr, who I can only assume is the cousin of former Padre prospect Mike Darr, has been signed by the Volunteers. Darr is the #1 punter according to Scout.com and joins Michael Parlardy as the #1 kicker according to the same website. It may not be the most exciting news for the average SEC fan, to be sure. And only the most whimsical of rogues would deem this comedic.

But ask the average fan of Rocky Top if special teams is important? See the above picture. You’ll be reminded why special teams are special. And not in the mockery way.

Could these be your New Ole Miss Mascot?

The Breakdown of Ole Miss’ New Mascot

Yeah yeah, get over it. Admiral Ackbar didn’t happen. It’s a shame. Oxford could have become such a trap game that it would be so funny for teams in the SEC West. I won’t make any more puns on my own.

Because there’s the Ole Miss Mascot Selection Committee to do that for you.You’ll see. Trust me.

Anyway? There are 11 candidates for Ole Miss Mascot. And I will break them all down. Because it’s June. June is football slow time.

1) Hotty and Toddy

These two feel like a bad impression of Statler and Waldorf. After all, the plan is something along the lines of a pair of animals or  “muppet-like” characters. As such? I say this mascot will be too lame to get a consensus. That being said, an adorable Milo and Otis puppy and kitty tag team is something I could get behind.

2) Rebel Black Bear

The safe choice. It’s not a muppet or a talisman. It’s historical, but not in a bold fashion. Committees don’t like bold. Also, Bears are totally more bad ass than elephants or tigers.  If this isn’t the winner? I will be surprised.

3) Rebel Blues Musician

Fun fact: Robert Johnson was born in Haverford, Mississippi. His legend was that he took his guitar to the crossroad off the Dockery Plantation between Ruleville and Cleveland and sold his soul to play the blues.

That’s one reason why I want this to happen. The second reason? It’s a complete repudiation of the Colonel Reb and the culture that it perpetuated. The third reason? It’s a celebration of the best of Mississippi.

And it will never ever happen.

4) Rebel the Cardinal

Celebrating the color red? Really? That’s west coast liberal stuff right there. Do you want to start comparing yourself to Stanford? Do you? I know you don’t. Moving on.

5) Rebel Fanatic

No. Do not want. The fraternity doucher in Muppet form just seems dumb to me. So yeah.

6) Rebel the Horse

A poor man’s bear scenario. Not bad. It would most definitely fire up a home crowd. It seems like it would be something that would finish in the upper third of the middle of the pack.

7) Rebel the Lion (Rebellion)

Puns? Really? But you know what? It’s a strong contender. It may even come close to winning. Someone’s going to fight for this. They will fight a little too hard for it. And that’s why it will not win.

Rebel Mojo

Do you really want to abscond with the talisman and the war cry from a West Texas High School? I know I don’t. Permian came up with this first. Let them keep it.

9) Rebel Riverboat Pilot

Now if you don’t know why this one has a legitimate chance of happening? Read a map. It’s not an awful premise for a mascot as well. But it can’t fire people up like the other ones. It would probably finish 4th. Maybe 5th.

10) Rebel Titan

In terms of symbolism. The one who stole fire from the Gods is one of the first Rebels of myth and legend. And that is cool. But can you picture a mascot looking even decent in a titan costume? I don’t.

If I had to pick a Top 3?
1) Rebel Black Bear
2) Rebel the Lion
3) Rebel Titan