Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee, 2009 Chick-fil-A Bowl, Prediction Pick

A little personal information about me. I figured I would be a more famous blogger than I am right now? So when I would call something a Lee Marvin game? People would understand.

But as I’m not there, here’s what a Lee Marvin game is. It’s a game with two hard-hitting defenses that will ask for no quarter and have malice in their hearts. And considering that it’s Monte Kiffin rolling up against Beamerball?

There will be blood.

Then again? There is a certain flaw to this diamond of pure defense skill. Both teams are pretty similar in where they’re strong. They are great against the pass (both in the Top 10), they’re good at limiting scores (both in the Top 30), and they’re kind of able to get run upon (both between 50 and 60 against the run). So, what happens here? It will wholly be dependent on the offense.

And you know what? I love the dual threat quarterback. But Tyrod Taylor’s not someone who can pass the ball to save his life this year. And going up against a defense like the Volunteers? He’s not about to start now.

That being said, Ryan Williams has shown himself to be an adept force of ballcarying nature. He took what the Crimson Tide dealt out and managed a solid game. Here? I expect him to get triple digits and a score.

The Volunteers question is can Jonathan Crompton manage the game? Virginia Tech was able to turn defense into offense in a semi-regular basis. And I’m sure that Lane Kiffin knows that he’s not going to make an effort to swing for the fences with Crompton, but the Volunteer fan still has the sense memories of past fails. On the other hand? Montario Hardesty is going to roll up and have a similar game as Ryan Williams.

On paper? Tennessee is the better team. Crompton is going to play smart and do enough to keep Hardesty from facing 8 men in the box. The defense can actually find their way into having eight men in the box. However? Virginia Tech is going to generate a big play on defense. And that will be enough to force a cover. Tennessee 12, Virginia Tech 10.

For anybody who has played any level of organized football…

And it is this. Wednesday is the hardest day of practice. You put the gameplan in, you hit hardest, you do your most running to be prepared for the 4th quarter? And as such, you may feel a need to let off some steam.

A few would run headlong into their studies. Some would watch a television based program. Many would hit up that Madden. Or, you could commit a light felony. Sounds crazy, you say? Ask the three Tennessee freshman who got picked up for Armed Robbery last night.

In a story tailor made for Deadspin, Nu’Keese Richardson, Janzen jackson, and Mike Edwards were all arrested for an attempted armed robbery last night, that considering the circumstances? You have to admit is quite hilarious.

Don’t believe me? Check out the Bullet Points.

• Their choice of victim? A big money Volunteer booster. Somoene who probably brought Jackson and Richardson into Knoxville.
• And yet they didn’t have any cash money. That’s right. The Great Volunteer Robbery netted a grand total of zero dollars.
• At least one of the robbers was wearing something related to Tennessee football as well.
• The getaway car? A Prius.

Yep, in the scheme of things to do on a Wednesday night? The future of Volunteer football decided to half-ass an armed robbery. And as such? Let me explain how the shout-out from the dopeman rhymer Lil’ Wayne was a signal to these kids to rob and steal…

Kidding! I’m just kidding!

H/T: Chris Low

 Alabama vs. Tennessee, Prediction Pick, 2009

I know, this seems like an obvious call, the defense will keep Tennessee in the game, but with the way Alabama tamps down opposing quarterbacks, there’s no way possible that Tennessee can win this one Alabama 16, Tennessee 3 on a late Mark Ingram touchdown.

But I am getting ahead of myself. And you should watch the game anyway. This is your third Saturday in October, a week late. I will give you reasons as to why, because I am sharp. Sharp like Wisconsin Cheddar Cheese.

1. As mentioned before? There’s a distinct chance of an egregiously bad call going against Tennessee.

When you have such a source of punditry like a Terrell Owens, saying the refs were, in the twitter vernacular “str8 cheatin’” you have a lot of people expecting Mark Curies crew to make a lazy, Tim McClellandish judgement in favor of the Crimson Tide. And you know what? I’m for it. Complaining about the refs is as American as complaining about your idiot congressman.

And after a call like this? The rep as the Phil Luckett of the SEC is deserved for the Curies crew.

Rocky Top may be apoplectic.

2. How Jonathan Crompton is like Vampire Weekend

See Alabama’s defense has been crushing the hopes and dreams of every quarterback it faces. It could be Paul McCall or Jevan Snead, it doesn’t matter. The worst game every quarterback that has faced Alabama has had will likely be against Alabama. The three tiers of doom will crush your dreams. So of course that means…

The Kid don’t stand a chance.

3. Mark Ingram is so good…

That I would allow for you to ape Bill Brasky facts for a comparison of just how good he is. But please don’t. It would demean us both.

Ingram has singlehandedly taken the Bama offense and put it upon his shoulders considering that Greg McElroy has found a way to fall off the cliff. And after he gashed a generally strong South Carolina defense for 246 yards, the dreaded Heisman talk is coming his way.

However? He’s not someone who has been bottled up. And playing Virginia Tech and South Carolina means you have not been feasting on cupcakes. That being said? I’m sure that Monte Kiffin is going to have n interesting plan to stop Ingram.

All in all? Tennessee will find a way to keep the game close, but in order to win? The defense and special teams is going to need to find a way to get 14 points together. So, I’m going to call it like this. A Mark Ingram touchdown late finally knocks out Tennessee.

The score? You already know the score. Silly.

UPDATE: The SEC has suspended the scheduled crew for this game in the next two weeks. Not saying that it’s going to lead to a different result, but that crew deserved to take a few games off.

Hi. It seems as if the knee-jerk wisdom of the Southeastern Conference has hit the wonkavator again. There are some teams that are bad that which once were good. There are some teams stung that did not deserve to be. There are two teams that had byes. First? We start with what hasn’t changed.

Vanderbilt: Still looking quite useless.
LSU: Did the bye week heal the offense? Or does Gary Crowton need a scrappy rag arm at quarterback to make his offense sing? No difference from every other week previously.
Tennessee: Fair warning? If you do come out with a scrappy performance against a top five team? You do get the crew from Georgia/LSU and Arkansas/Florida. Get your bitching fingers ready and slow to a complete stop if you’re anywhere near Mark Ingram or Julio Jones. But you’re inconsistent. I wouldn’t worry.
Mississippi State: Have fun inexplicably scaring, but ultimately falling short with Florida this week because your coach knows all their secrets.
Ole Miss: Meh. Nobody cares about Ole Miss on the field anymore.

You know what I mean?

Georgia: The fans are still on tinderhooks until the Worlds Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Then they will finish building the train to run Willie Martinez out of town.
South Carolina: Scrappy. A solid choice for yet another trip to Florida to play a Big 10 team on Janurary 1st. Better than what we originally thought? Still in the second echelon. They did lose their #1 wideout for a while with a concussion.

Okay, so the wonkavator may just be because my Google reader was all up in that Arkansas-Florida. That being said? 5 teams fates have definitely changed.

Alabama: Put it this way. They are the Kings of Big Rock Candy Mountain and Mark Ingram will break your ankles should you disagree.
Auburn: They are downright shook going into the toughest part of their schedule. Gus Malzahn is this close to having a Toonces, the driving cat like impact for the Tigers. For you see, everybody was stunned by a cat driving the car, but now? They’re about to cut to the stock footage of the car careening off a cliff.
Arkansas: It seems to have come together. They just couldn’t overcome lazy officiating and their own kicker. If Pure Lundquist was shocked by the calls? You know they were wronged. Tejada is better than that usually. And in 2010? Meet your new Ole Miss.
Kentucky: They circled the got damn wagons and now need only hold serve here on out to clinch THE GREATEST RUN IN BIG BLUE FOOTBALL HISTORY. And eventually? Lindley is going to come back too.|
Florida: I’m not saying the fix was in. I’m not saying that you couldn’t beat Alabama in your current state. Not to say they would either. You do have potholes in your future. (Step lively if you wish

Apparently, Eric Berry autotunes his coverage as well…

H/T: Rocky Top Talk

Auburn vs. Tennessee, Prediction Pick 2009

Now this is one interesting match-up. On the one side? You have a classic confrontation. On the other side? You have the Cromptoning meeting a defense that is marshmellow soft. So. Who wins? 

That’s why I’m here.

The good match-up: Malzahn-mania has swept through Alabama. It has redeemed Chris Todd from irrelevant joke to a quarterback avaeraging 9 yards per pass attempt. It has given Ben Tate and the poorly spelled Ontario McCalebb (too many b’s on the dance floor!) power and glory as a two headed running back attack at Running Back U to the Southeast. And Mario Fannin does loom large as an X-Factor that really hasn’t emerged yet.

Monte Kiffin on the other hand? He knows how to game plan. And he has Eric Berry and a run defense that’s allowing less than three yards per carry. You will see a well-prepared defense going up against a blanced offense from a genius that’s earning his rep. It will be fun when Auburn holds the ball.

The bad match-up: Not to say that it’s going to be a real bad match-up, but when Tennessee has the ball? It will most definitely not be the classic confrontation. Obviously, the Montario Hardesty-Bryce Brown tag team is going to get some things done. Auburn is not great versus the run. That being said?

Horsefeathers!  

Tennessee still has the Horsefeathers at quarterback. And for all the scoring Auburn’s opponents has garnered? They are averaging two picks a game. The obvious choice for Gene is to dare Crompton to beat him. He will give Auburns defense another two interceptions. And that, my friends? That will be the difference.

Final Analysis: Tennessee is a team that is racked with injuries. They don’t have a receiver to carry the load. Their quarterback is facing a ballhawking secondary. Auburn is going to win with relative ease and comfort. Auburn 31, Tennessee 19.

Florida vs Tennessee, Prediction Pick, 2009. You could also call this game Lane Kiffin vs Urban Meyer. Lane Kiffin has burst onto the SEC football landscape with a bunch trash talk, West coast style of doing things, accusations, and a top 15 recruiting class. Urban Meyer and the Florida Gators just keep on winning, but they have taken notice of the new mouth of the South. How could they not notice.

From the moment that Kiffin stepped into the coaching role for the Vols, he has talked about how sweet it will be when they beat Florida this week. It seems like that his number one role is to beat Florida this week, or at least to get everyone focused on it. It even caused a Florida player to say that if he saw Kiffin on the street that he would not say anything, because he would have nothing to say to that Bozo.

But how will all the trash talk work into the actual game? The game is played on the field and not in the papers or on the message boards. Tennessee talke the talk, and even walked the walk in their first game. Crompton had 5 TD passes. Against UCLA they crashed back to Earth and now Crompton has 5 TD passes and 5 Interceptions. Florida just keeps on winning and winning by a lot.

I pick Florida to win and to win big. Tennessee will most likely grow from these last 2 games, and I still have them going bowling. This loss is inevitable. Florida is better at every aspect of the game, and Crompton can not be expected to get better and overcome all the other factors in just 1 week. I would say that Florida by 30 would be a low prediction. Florida’s second team will be in in the 3rd, and will still move the ball with authority.

-What do you think will happen? Leave a comment below, and tell us what you think. Subscribe, and come back all season-

I’m still unimpressed by Eric Berry.

Okay, slow down Rocky Top. I’m not talking about the on-field exploits of Eric Berry. He’s 300 percent awesome as a center fielder. Now that being said? I have a parody song pro tip.

If you’re going to make a parody song? You need match up syllables. Examples? A parody of “Beat It” would be nowhere near as awesome if it was called anything but “Eat It.” And “Riding Dirty?”A parody would be blunted with more or less than 4 syllables. See: White and Nerdy.

Into this breach steps the Eric Berry for Heisman campaign.

I cannot allow myself to support this insurgent campaign for failing to follow the rules of parody. That’s just science.

H/T: Team Speed Kills